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PARENTS AS SHEPHERDS AND GARDENERS - PART 1 Daniel Patz, Lead Pastor Grace Church, Sunday Worship April 25th, 2010
Reminders:
Accepting children as a joy from the Lord
Accepting parenting as a joy from the Lord
Parenting is not not just the act of having sex, getting pregnant, taking classes for having a baby, going to the hospital, giving a name, having parties, changing diapers, choosing a school and so on... Parenting is a full-time, life-long calling to Shepherding and Cultivating children for the glory of God as an act of follower of Jesus by the power of His Spirit. I want to focus on the act of shepherding and cultivating. Shepherding Sheep I want to help you think about parenting with the metaphor of a shepherd to a sheep. Your life's task is to care for sheep. However, you are rearing sheep who will necessarily turn into shepherds (the metaphor doesn't work all the way through). Shepherds need to: - Know their flock - Feed their flock - Lead their flock - Protect their flock Jesus is the good Shepherd as the model of this - John 10. All Christian parents have already been shepherding (and are being shepherded) by the Great Shepherd of our souls. Sheep are helpless and needy and they require a shepherd or they will fail. God has ordained parents to take this role. This shepherding is a delegated task - from God. As we see in Ephesians 6:4 - the Father is the head shepherd in the home - the mom is the shepherd's helper (with authority and honor - Eph 6:1-3) Cultivating Plants Another metaphor is agricultural. Plants. To cultivate a garden is to prepare, take care, weed, fertilize, water, nourish, tend and harvest. Parents are called to be cultivators of a garden - Gardeners. All it takes to grow weeds is to let things go, but a gardener is called to take attention and action. Proverbs 10:5 He who gathers in summer is a prudent son, but he who sleeps in harvest is a son who brings shame. Using the same terms as the shepherd, gardeners need to: - Know their crop/plants - Feed their plants - Lead their plants - gardens need organization, vision and guidance - Protect their plants The vocation of parents is one of gardening - this is a never ending job and it requires constant care and attention. Successful gardens are not self-gardening. They require the careful and skilled hands and attention of a good gardener. Parents are the gardeners with the father of the home being the head-gardener. He is responsible for the garden. He must know that an untended garden will always produce weeds and fruitlessness. With this in mind in the next two sermons I want to look primarily at one verse in Ephesians 6. This verse is addressed to fathers, although it applies to both parents (although the father is chiefly responsible to make sure this command is obeyed in the home).
With the dual metaphors of shepherd/gardener in mind I want to look at this command to parents. First the Negative. Here we see the Way in Which Shepherd and Gardening is to be Done. "Fathers" Let's not miss this very important and often despised and neglected related of the male leadership of the father/husband. Fathers are responsible. Oh that men would take the lead and take this verse seriously. In Paul's day the Greek and Roman culture was very patriarchal and very harsh when it came to the way fathers could treat their children - even their adult children. Paul begins by saying that their is a way in which they are to raise their children and of course a way that they should not. "Do Not Provoke Your Children to anger" Provoke - "to stir up" or "irritate" to the point of anger - to chaff Exasperate Their is a way in which parents can shepherd their flock that stirs up the anger in the sheep that is contrary to what they are about. There is a way in which parents can cultivate their plants that makes things worse. Shepherds can be harsh and neglecting, gardeners can leave the garden untended and water it too heavily or fail to nourish it or trample all over it when it needs gentle care. We parents need to shepherd and garden well in our parenting. We fail to know, feed, lead and protect our sheep which leads to anger or discouragement (Col 3:21). I have four children out of the womb and I sad to say that I have done my share of provoking - sometimes intentionally, usually unintentionally - but regardless I am responsible and must repent: Clarification - Because a child is provoked, does not give the child a guilt-free excuse for their sinful response to their parents. The bottle of water is shaken and water comes out. WAYS TO PROVOKE YOUR CHILDREN TO ANGER: There are levels of provoking that takes place. The immediate and the long term. Some are provoked to anger, erupt, it gets dealt with and they move on. But there is a long-term provoking a life of bitterness that is even worse - this deals with both. Just because your child is not appearing to be angry, doesn't mean that you are not guilty. Be honest, be humble - run to the one who forgives and gives help - based on Jesus' work on the cross.
Secondly the Positive. Here we see what we are to do in our shepherding and gardening. "Bring them Up" This is the opposite of the point we saw last week - Instead of irritating to anger, carefully and gentling nurture the sheep and plants with love and care. A good shepherd knows his sheep. A good shepherd feeds his sheep - knowing what they need to eat for their good. A good shepherd leads his sheep - he knows where they need to go and brings them their. A good shepherd protects his sheep - he does not let go off on their own unprotected. "In the discipline and Instruction of the Lord" Discipline - the entire rearing and nurturing of a child in all areas of life - including correction and discipline. Instruction - the teaching of the mind and heart in the truth that goes along with discipline and padiea. These two are not exclusive. |
