Why Do We Correct Our Children?

1. God’s Word commands us to correct our children.

Proverbs 23:13-14  Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.  (14)  If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol.

2. Our children’s nature and direction require correction.

Proverbs 22:15 ESV  Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.

"you will save his soul from Sheol."

Proverbs 19:18  Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death.

3. Our job as parents demands that we correct our children.

Proverbs 22:6 ESV  Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Ephesians 6:4 ESV  Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

4. Real love insists that we correct our children.

Proverbs 13:24  Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.

Hebrews 12:6-8 ESV  For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives."  (7)  It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?  (8)  If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.

When Do We Correct Our Children?

1. When they are in need of correction.

Simply put - when the swerve off the road that they are suppose to be on they need to be properly corrected.

Children are not to be left alone. 

2. When they move out of the circle of blessing. (Eph. 6:1-3)

Children are commanded to obey based on the fifth commandment - honor your father and mother.

With this comes great promise. It is the path of God's mercy and blessing.

How Should We Correct Our Children?

1. We must correct our children with an understanding that our authority is delegated from the Lord.

Ephesians 6:1-4

Our authority only comes from God. I am the boss because God made me the boss. My bosshood is only in so far as He has given me.

Obey not because I SAY SO but because God says so.

We need to teach our children that God has the only absolute authority.

This means we need to bring THE WORD to them. This goes back to the enculturation of the Lord - biblical worldview.

2. We must correct our children with constant prayer.

Prayer for Ourselves

Prayer for Our children

Prayer with Our children

Psalms 127:1 ESV  A Song of Ascents. Of Solomon. Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.

3. We must correct our children within a context of love and the Gospel.

Mark 10:13-16 ESV  And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them.  (14)  But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, "Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.  (15)  Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it."  (16)  And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.

Revelation 3:19 ESV  Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.

Be gracious and apply to them the Gospel that you have received and which is the only hope of your forgiveness. 

4. We must correct our children with sufficient firmness.

The Rod - "spanking" is biblical

Prov 19:18; Pro 22:15

Proverbs 22:15 ESV  Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.

Hebrews 12:11 ESV  For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

2 requirements - 1) It must be sorrowful 2) afterwards it yields 

Careful how we do it - don't want to jar the child - rod is better than hand

Years of hope are short - shouldn't have to be spanking older kids - less frequently

5. We must correct our children with wise verbal reproof.

• First, be certain that he understands what he did that was wrong. 

  Make him think. What did you do?  Make him be specific.

• Secondly, bring the authority of God to bear on him directly. 

  What does God say about that?  Help him if necessary.

• Thirdly, help him to evaluate his own actions in the light of Scripture.

  Was your action right or wrong based on Scripture? 

  teaching them to discern right from wrong

• Fourthly, help him to see that when he sins he needs to be corrected.

  What happens when you disobey?

  Help them see and verbalize that discipline is what they need.

  Heb 12:10

• Fifth, show to him your obligation to be God's agent in correction. 

  "As your father, what must I do under God's authority?"

• Finally, after we have spanked him and loved him, we can explain to him what he ought to do so that he may avoid having to be corrected in the future.

6. We must correct our children in apt proportion.

Correcting your driving when you barely cross the yellow line doesn't require a yank.

A sharp pull to right requires a pull to the left.

Some offenses merely require the snapping of the fingers.

Many offenses require normal spanking - enough to get the lesson across.

The severity of the spanking then, ought to be in proportion to the seriousness of the departure.

We don't want to convert medicine into daily food - it destroys remedial quality.

We also need to take into account the frame of each child.

7. We must correct our children with reasonable expectations.

Psalms 103:13-14 ESV  As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.  (14)  For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.

Many factors:

- Are they physically capable of meeting our expectations?

- We must also ask if they are mentally capable of meeting our expectations.

- Yet this principle must not be used as an excuse to avoid discipline.

Don't underestimate the ability of little ones to understand

Help them get good sleep.

8. We must correct our children with persevering consistency. 

Proverbs 13:24  Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.

Prov 23:13 - withhold not correction from the child

It is not the severity that will produce obedience but the certainty of correction which will bring about the desired result.

Never, never issue a warning or a command without following it through.

We should expect instant obedience on the part of our children, and we should reinforce that expectation with the rod each and every time that they fail to obey.

Don't fall into the trap of constructing a early warning system.

Train your children to expect to obey the first time you say something and when you say it in a normal tone of voice.

Set Prov 13:24 before you continually

Hard work - not easy

Tendency to only correct on major disobedience

Picking small weeds when they are small

Beware of the teapot temper - outward calm but inward turmoil - we boil over with the burst

Releasing our pressure is punishment not discipline

Discouragement will try to draw us away from consistency. 

Obey God and trust him

Prov 3:5

If it is consistently unsuccessful we should ask - am I obeying God? See 107

Sometimes it mans - just hang in there